I am eternal. My beliefs are transitory. My mind has existed since before there was time or space, and each instant it shifts and swirls. My reality is static only because I choose to perceive it that way. My choice dictates every sensation, every idea, every experience in my universe. I call out to God and Christ and Buddha and Goddess, and in the end find them tucked away inside of me, just waiting for my mind to open enough to allow them out.

I could fly if I wanted to. I could breathe underwater, dance naked through the snow without a chill, pass through walls. The so-called laws of physics may be immutable for the static, the illusions that pepper this dream, but they are mere suggestions for a Consciousness. All it takes is a true belief, that understanding that makes a mockery of two-thousand years of civilized seeking.

One day we will realize our potential. We will see how foolish are these limitations we set on our paradigm. We once laughed at the thought that men could control their heart-rates, their autonomic nervous systems. Now we accept it as a matter of fact. Will science bend and sway enough to allow us to perceive true reality? Or has it itself - once the greatest hope for the true skeptic - become a slave to a rigid model it cannot break free of? Perhaps quantum theory will open new doors for this break in consciousness - certainly a multitude of pseudo-educated New Age prophets hold it up to that ideal. I think more likely we will have to simply laugh science away.

An objective search for Truth is of no use to a creature trapped in a subjective reality. This experiment in experimental method has had its time, has shown us great new marvels and a Brave New World most of us try desperately to escape. I am. That is truth without equal - truth with no basis except a deep knowing. What use have we for a model that cannot even validate this simple truth?

Everything I say here, everything I will say, it’s all wrong. I believe all of it. I also disbelieve all of it. That’s not contrariness, it’s not absurdism. I’m not trying to be a Rinzai monk. I’m telling you how it is. I live a lie, I believe in lies. I exist in the tension between knowing and knowing what I know is false. I am a soul who lives in logic and rationalism. I am also a soul who refuses that very rationalism every time it is stirred. Much of what I say here frustrates me - it twists the knife into the rationalist heart, it makes me wonder when I became such a fool. Much of what I say here makes me sing .

As the esteemed R.A.W once said, “When dogma enters the brain, all intellectual activity ceases.” I am in danger of falling pray to my own dogmatic beliefs, and it is only by writing down - expelling, vomiting, ejaculating , discharging, erupting, disgorging, exudating - my myriad discordant and conflicting dogma, that I can hope to keep them all in the perspective they so rightly deserve - beneath my feet, behind my back, and velcroed to my heart.

So where do we go from here? What am I doing? I think I’m writing words. As I see words I write that interest me, I will write more words about those words. Eventually every word there is to be written by me will be written, and We will be complete. It’s going to be quite a journey, please have fun.

Hail Eris.