have you
heard her fingers
dance
like
rain
drops?
speaking the wind in a voice
all its own;
cry scandal eyes as she
stretches arms(up)
towards skying starlight
sprinkling on upturned
breasts bathed in a parched (or moonlit
heated) night.
dervish-like her sight fades
as standing she gazes
heavenward,chin tilted
to expose flesh—like
some naked piece of
heaven.
have you
seen the dancer
finger
like
moon
salt?
exuding sensualit
(y) of youth;
blanched white with im
purity of im
propriety (or some
thing approximating
woman-hood)
warm pulse(ates)
and dict(ates) she
lets loose with
sound that slips slightly
from lips
held (tightly)
and hips
thrust (rightly)
as
in a burst
she comes
undone,unbound
at the seams that pin
women and men;
and it seems she is
free
again.
I especially enjoyed the opening verse for the effect on the senses.
Subtle internal rhyme and alliteration throughout piece.
I think the the use of the word ‘up’ is unnecessary in -
cry scandal eyes as she
stretches arms(up)
towards skying starlight
sprinkling on upturned
Overall there is a wonderful overtone.
Brendan,
my heart
sighs
with.the.need
for more.
POETRY